What Age Should My Daughter Start Wearing a Bra?

By: Lara Ramos

As your child grows older, “When is the right time to get a bra?” becomes a daunting question to ask yourself. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Every girl is unique and develops at her own pace, and deciding when to make that first purchase depends on several factors. However, this guide can provide you with a good starting point for initiating these important conversations with yourself and your daughter. 

Signs Your Daughter Needs a Bra

Here are a few clues it might be time to consider bra shopping with your daughter:

1. Breast development: Your daughter will begin to develop small buds beneath her nipples which may be tender and fast-growing. 

2. Increased activity: If your daughter is involved in sports or other physical activities, she may require more chest support due to the wide range of movement. 

3. Discomfort and self-awareness: If your daughter is self-conscious about her body and expressing discomfort about how she looks in clothes or feels, she may be reassured by an added supportive layer.

4. Peer influence: If your daughter wants to fit in with her friend group or begin experimenting with new clothes, a bra may help her adapt.

How to Talk to Your Daughter About Wearing a Bra

@jessmiao Replying to @honeycombe GIRL STOP SCROLLING I GOTCHU #girls #musthaves #girlhood #schooloutfit ♬ original sound - Jess Miao | your big sis 🥰

Starting a conversation about wearing a bra can feel awkward for both parties, but this topic is vital towards building early self-confidence and helping your daughter feel comfortable with all aspects of her changing body. Here are some tips to help navigate this sensitive situation:

1. Take a casual and supportive tone: Approach the topic in a relaxed way and without anyone else around to prevent her from feeling ashamed or defensive. Let her know what you have observed and keep the conversation open-ended. Let her guide the conversation to learn about how she feels towards bras without pressure. 

2. Normalize the experience: Let her know that all girls go through this experience but acknowledge that this change can come with fears or concerns. Address any worries and reassure her that this is a natural step that comes with puberty. 

3. Take her shopping with you: Involve your daughter in choosing her first bra so she can prioritize comfort and develop her preferences early. Start with soft no -wire bras balance support with comfort. A good starting point is our Apricotton bras, which offer soft moldable fabric that provides comfort and grows alongside every girl. Take a look through our catalogue and take note of which ones she likes the most!

What to Do If She’s Not Ready

Sometimes, your daughter may not feel ready even after a conversation. This can be tricky if parents see the need but don’t want to push too hard. This is how you can handle such situations: 

1. Respect her decision: Some girls need more time to adjust to the idea of wearing a bra and what that may mean for their growth journey. Continue to offer reassurance that when she feels ready, you’ll be there to help her pick out something comfortable. Don’t force the issue as it may put her off of future conversations.

2. Offer alternatives: Provide suggestions such as undershirts, camisoles or tube tops as a middle ground. These can provide a layer of coverage between her chest and her shirts without feeling like a full bra, helping her transition when she’s ready.  

3. Open the door for future talks: Let her know that comfort is the most important thing and remind her that you are always here if she has any more questions or concerns. This allows her to come to you when she feels ready.

What If She Wants a Bra, but You Don’t Think She Needs One? 

On the other hand, there are times where your daughter is eager to start wearing a bra before you think it’s necessary. Perhaps she hasn’t started showing signs of breast development or you personally believe it to be too soon. Here’s how you can navigate this:

1. Listen to her reasoning: Ask why she wants a bra. Is it because her friends are wearing them, she feels self-conscious without support or simply because she feels that is the natural next step? Understand her perspective and reflect on your own potential biases. Did you have fears around her growing up? Are you worried about her being treated as more adult? 

2. Validate her feelings: Even if you don’t think she physically needs a bra, she may emotionally need on to validate her self-image. Wearing a bra can be about more than physical development.

3. Compromise: Suggest she start with a training bra or camisole with inserts. This way, she can feel included with her peers but begin by easing into it gradually. As a starting point, take a look at our Perfect Bralette due to the lack of padding and thin straps that make it feel like you have nothing on.
   

To conclude, the answer to these questions aren’t so cut-and-dry. It depends n physical development, emotional readiness, comfort level and support needs. Every girl’s journey is different and cannot be compared directly to your own. As a parent, your role is to support her through the transition with patience, communication and understanding. Whether she’s ready for a bra or needs more time, keep those lines of communication open to ensure she feels supported and heard when expressing her concerns. 

As you may remember, puberty can be a confusing and sensitive time, so being a steady source of reassurance and guidance will make the process smoother for both mother and daughter. 

About the Author

Lara is a Business student at Western University. Her idea of a good time is having fun with friends! From escape rooms to book clubs, she’s always down for a good time and a new adventure. As an only child, she loves the opportunity to be a big sister for so many girls!